She was at the edge of her comfort zone and she did it anyway. She knew that if we were going to ask the girls to climb and abseil, then she would need to model capable, brave behaviour. She privately went off and got a trainer to help her prepare. I remember well a colleague who was going to be involved in an adventure camp we were planning for Year 7 girls. Take any necessary precautions and then have a go. Teach your children to judge the inherent risks of a sport or any other adventure. Luckily parents and teachers can model this, it is teachable.” Model safe risk-takingĬhildren learn their boundaries by watching their parents and significant adults. What we tell ourselves can be very powerful when it comes to risk assessment and taking. “If you could get into the minds of brave people, you wouldn’t find someone who is thinking, ‘This is too hard I can’t do this there is no way I can do this’ – it would be, ‘Yes! C’mon! I can do this!’. Santa Maria College Psychologist, Jane Carmignani says that positive talk is important. Explain also that a little bit of fear in a controlled situation is healthy. We need to talk to them about the physical feelings of excitement…fluttering in the stomach, a raised pulse, dilated pupils but no feeling of doom. Therefore, when they do feel it they get a bit wary. They have experienced a lot of joy but not a lot of excitement. The problem is when it becomes confused with excitement. Does fear feel a lot like excitement?įear is a physical response designed to keep us safe.
Those are the memories that will inform our kids’ futures.
It is equally as exciting to see a teenager perform in her first dance showcase in front of a large audience, standing up to a bully for the first time, or nailing a public speaking task. Obviously, it’s not all about adrenaline sports. Watching a thirteen-year-old girl abseiling down a sheer cliff is wonderful, nearly as wonderful as seeing the smile that doesn’t leave her face for hours. Though we are never as surprised as they are. When teachers take kids on camps we are always surprised by what they are capable of. These ongoing successes are reinforcing and powerful. They are structured, they explicitly teach skills and they allow for lots of little successes. School camps that are substantial, well prepared, and challenging are the perfect vehicle for this type of learning.
#BRAVE MEANING FOR KIDS HOW TO#
The risks I’m talking about are calculated.Ĭhildren need to be taught how to control what they can, and to always have a healthy respect for boundaries and Mother Nature. So when I say we should encourage kids to take risks, they need to be discussed and planned. Adults make decisions with the rational part of the brain…usually. They make a lot of decisions with the part of the brain committed to emotions, called the amygdala. Teenagers are by nature impulsive so they need some guidance in finding the line between safe risk-taking and just plain risk-taking. It comes with modelling, teaching, and explaining. Fear is okay and to be expected, but sometimes it also needs to be overcome. This implies that fear is something to be ashamed of. Sometimes when we talk to our kids we say, “Be brave” and “Face your fears”. It is about taking risks taking on challenges feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
It is hard to separate ‘bravery’ from determination, persistence, perseverance, and self-belief. They are also going to be the students who take learning risks that lead to lateral, out-of-the-box thinking. If they are armed with that knowledge, then they are more likely to create a life they love. They can use that knowledge powerfully in their learning and growing. There are good reasons for that….Brave kids are going to be the ones who find out early what their strengths and weaknesses are, what they love and loathe. We want kids who are happy to take considered risks physically, emotionally, and intellectually. It’s important that we grow brave children.
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